My son was going to be turning three. My husband and I had dreamed of having a boy and we did. It was a very exciting thing for my family. On my side of the family we hadn’t seen a baby boy in 56 years on my Moms side and 28 years on my Dads side. I had 5 beautiful nieces and six beautiful female little cousins and I was one of three girls.
We decided that because my husband was a motocross rider that as soon as he could walk he needed a dirt bike. So right before his third birthday we got one. We bought special training wheels and turned the throttle down so that he wouldn’t get hurt. One the day that he was able to take his first right we geared him up in all of his protective clothing. Helmet, Google’s, Gloves, elbow pads, and knee pads. The poor boy could barely move.
He hopped on and drove to fast making me so nervous I could barely watch. Over the next year and a half we limited his use. We realized that we had jumped into buying him that too early.
The next summer as he had just turned 4 we focused more on pedal biking. He started with training wheels in the spring and by midsummer he was riding without them.
The next summer as he had just turned 4 we focused more on pedal biking. He started with training wheels in the spring and by midsummer he was riding without them.
He was doing so good even going on long bike rides up to 3 miles a night. So he started talking about riding his dirt bike more. I as his mother was a little against it as I was nervous that he would get hurt. He told us that he wanted to try it without the training wheels on so we decided to not hold him back and allow him to do so.
My husband took the bike to the garage and took off the training wheels while I gave him a pep talk and got all his gear on. He was excited and nervous. He told me he was a big boy now.
As my husband started up the dirt bike I made an excuse to head into the house for a little while. I was too worried that he would get hurt that I couldn’t even watch. So I headed in the house and started in washing the dishes. I could hear the dirt bike but could not see him. My nerves were just starting to relax when all of the sudden I heard the bike come to a stop and a blood curdling scream.
The front door flew open and my husband carried my son cradled in his arms like a baby. I knew that was something horribly wrong.
“What happen” I asked frantically
“I’m not sure yet” my husband said with cracking in his voice.
My son was holding his belly and crying awfully bad. My husband pulled up his shirt just enough for a quick glimpse of a severely bad burn on his belly.
“Ok we have to go to the hospital right now” I said trying to stay calm but not doing a good job at it.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I’m scared momma I don’t want to go.” He cried
“I know baby but they will fix that boo boo and make u feel better” I tried so hard to reassure him.
I called my mother in law who lives seconds away from us to come watch my daughter. She was there in less than five minutes and we were out the door.
On the way to the hospital I had to do a lot of convincing him that it was the best choice for him and that he would feel better real soon. Once we got there one of the hardest things was putting the IV in. Once in they gave his a few doses of morphine. My son had received a second degree burn from the exhaust pipe of the dirt bike. Not having the training wheels on his bike caused to fall over on its side and my son right on top of it. After 2 weeks you can barely see where it was. The burn which measured 2 inches by four inches healed up very well and I don’t think that he will ever ride his dirt bike again, but we will see.
1st graf--that's a lot of girls! Something in the water out your way?
ReplyDeleteThis starts great with a wonderful build-up, but because you went in the house, the immediacy is lost in the ending. We want to see that accident--because the accident is the payoff to the whole piece, what it is all building towards. We want it dramatized.
"My son had received a second degree burn from the exhaust pipe of the dirt bike." This material should be the high point but instead it's just kind of related to us in a bland and matter-of-fact way. We want to see it, but since you didn't see it, we can't either (unless you want to fake it and pretend you did see it, kind of go week 4 on us, if you see what I mean!) So, instead we get a lot of fiddly side-detail in the last two grafs.
Not asking for a rewrite.